On 2nd January 2025, Channel News Asia published a commentary by Andy Loe, titled “It’s Time to Jump Off the Tuition Treadmill”. The lede says, “Grades are important, but they’re not everything.”

Hi, my name is Terence, host of the Daily Monsoon podcast. For today, let’s ask a few questions on the topic, explore and reflect on what Andy Loe has to say.

This is a timely article as schools everywhere re-open for the new year. Children struggle to get up from bed after a long holiday. Parents struggle to get to work and get their children up in time for school.

This tuition phenomenon was written within the Singapore context. Singapore is the birthplace and natural habitat of tiger moms. Andy quotes a report of a family willing to pay SGD6,000 for a live-in English tutor for their eight-year old child.

I have heard of live-in domestic helpers, but this is the first time I have heard of a live-in English tutor. What does the tutor do when the child is in school? Prepare for her classes, presumably. The even more scary thought is, what does the tutor do when the child is at home? The poor child comes back from school, and comes home to another school?

I don’t know the details of the arrangement, so I am just making jokes here. I am sure there is a perfectly reasonable case for a live-in English tutor for an eight-year-old child. But that’s not the main point of this article by Andy Loe; he wants to point us to play. He wants children to play more.

Getting children to play more used to be a lot more controversial before. But I think now many modern parents understand the need for children to play. The rise of Montessori or various Early Childhood Education Centres has educated a generation of parents on the value of play in childhood development.

Andy backs his claim by introducing us to the Zone of Proximal Development (ZPD), research done by psychologist Lev Vygotsky.

The ZPD refers to the gap between what a child can achieve independently and what they can potentially master with the help of a “more knowledgeable other”.

Later he quotes Vygotsky:

Play creates a zone of proximal development of the child. In play a child always behaves beyond his average age, above his daily behaviour; in play it is as though he were a head taller than himself.

Perhaps nothing encapsulates this idea more than the Kidzania Theme Parks. If you don’t know what Kidzania is, it’s a theme park where children go to pretend to be working adults. It’s the opposite of Universal Studios where working adults go to pretend to be children.

When I brought my kids to Kidzania, the most popular job, the one with the longest queue, was the pilot. It’s really amazing; I don’t know whether they built a replica or chopped off the front part of a real plane. I think they chopped off a real plane! And it’s a great opportunity for kids to get into the cockpit of a, to them, real plane.

It’s a whole day trip. Kids run around to different parts of the city to be doctors in the Operating Theatre, firemen racing in a firetruck to put out a fire, make burgers in McDonald’s for their parents to eat and smile and not make any snide comments about a career in making burgers. They learn more by playing than by sitting in a classroom with PowerPoint slides or videos of the cool things pilots, doctors or firemen do. The kids just do it.

Of course, not everyday can be a theme park trip. One trip to Kidzania is enough. Although they rotate the role-playing activities, the kids will find that it’s mostly the same thing.

How can we get children to play?; to eventually become independent learners, responsible, problem-solving contributors to society?

Andy offers three strategies. Although he has written these strategies with children in mind, they apply to any learner from 8 to 88 years old. Let me quote what he has written here and then offer my own take on it.

The first strategy is to ask questions. He writes:

Engage your child in conversations about their interests, strengths and areas where they feel challenged. When they ask questions, continue the discussion by asking open-ended questions to understand their thought process and problem-solving approach and guide them to possible answers rather than giving them the solutions.

I agree with Andy and consider asking questions to be the most obvious sign of an inquisitive mind. One of the reasons why I was drawn into the Christian faith was, contrary to how it is often portrayed and perhaps experienced by others, the Christian faith is one that invites tough, very tough, questions. Thankfully, the man who later became my pastor, did not feel overwhelmed by all my questions and discourage me to stop. Nor did he feel the need to prove himself. When it comes to the toughest, he humbly told me he didn’t know the answer but we can continue to search for the answer through the Bible and through prayer.

Even though I didn’t get my definitive answers, and by a generation raised by Gen A.I. they may consider it a failed interaction. But to me, it showed me that we are all in this quest to seek the truth together.

Even if we don’t get the answers to our questions, we should not stop questioning, as long as we are sincere. Cause you can be insincere. You can ask questions to trap people, just like how the Pharisees asked Jesus, “Should we pay taxes to Caesar or not?” And in failing to get the wanted outcome, fail to be enlightened.

When we ask big questions, sometimes we don’t like the answers. For example, when the rich young ruler asked Jesus, “What must I do to get eternal life?” After Jesus gave his famous answer, the rich young ruler walked away, disappointed. The Bible doesn’t say what happened to the man, but I hoped he walked away and thought about it, and maybe he saw that what Jesus said was right, and ultimately, he made the right choice from there.

I think young people today are just not as curious and inquisitive as we were in my time. I have reasons to say that is a subject for another day. Lets move on to Andy’s second strategy to produce independent learners.

The second strategy is titled Explore. I quote Andy:

Create an environment that stimulates curiosity and exploration. Allow your child to try new things and learn from both their achievements and failures. Let them choose how to learn spelling each week, even if their method isn’t the most effective. Focus on their effort and independence, rather than getting perfect scores.

Games like Minecraft are popular because they have exploration built in by design. You have certain game rules, then that’s it, the players are free to explore and do wonders. It’s easy for game developers to create a sand box environment, but how can teachers do that in school?

I am sympathetic to teachers’ plight. They need to go through the syllabus within a non-negotiable timeframe yet inculcate a take your time to explore the subject.

A few years ago, I asked a high school student how has Maths changed since the Ministry of Education mandated a more exploratory approach. Her reply, and I paraphrase here for effect, the teacher is saying, “You can use any way you want to solve the problem, but my way is the only way, the best way, to get the marks.”

Like I said, my heart goes out to the teachers facing an impossible balancing act and I would like to think the situation in schools is improving. But as parents, we can do our part to encourage exploration. One is to simply not insist on perfection?

The learner’s approach or solution may not be optimal, but hey, she will gain ownership and hopefully be motivated to try different ways of solving math problems, or cleaning up her room or doing whatever takes her interest in the moment.

The third strategy is so important, I am glad Andy included it here, and that is to Reflect. I quote:

Help your child reflect on what worked, what didn’t and what they might do differently next time.

Andy continues by giving an example of how his daughter reflected on her struggle with spelling tests and after reflection, devised a new approach to do better.

I think reflection is a key skill for the learner and the early you learn it the better. When I was young, my father who is by no means well-versed in parenting techniques or pedagogy research, advised me: When I go to bed, to just think about the day. Is there anything I said that I would have said differently? Is there anything I did that I would have done differently? It’s a very simple exercise, but it has done wonders for me.

It doesn’t have to be serious life-changing reflections. It can just be, and for me it often was, my friend cracked a joke, or he made fun of me, and I was not quick enough to reply, but at night when I thought about it, “I should have said this, I should have said that.” By then, it was obviously too late. And it’s not likely that the joke would repeat, and I would ever go back in time to deliver that zinger, but the reflection exercise helps. It makes your brain work. Makes you ready for the next conversation, for the next day ahead.

Einstein is supposedly to have said:

Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. He who understands it, earns it… he who doesn’t … pays it.

I am slightly suspicious why a theoretical physicists made that comment but it is true. And the ability to do reflection is a superpower for any learner. It’s the magic of compound interest in learning.

People tend to look for the 100% or 200% because that’s what grabs headlines. But those who are wise know how it is the consistent 1% or 5% or 10% improvement that lead to long term growth. We don’t look for the big jackpot or the easy fix, we lean into the long game.

So there we have it. Three strategies to ponder on for learners for the new year. Let me just repeat, it’s not just for young children. It’s best taught to young children so that they can master it early and continue to apply them throughout their lives but anyone at any age should pick it up.

And for risk-averse parents, or I should say, parents who really want to see their children persevere throughout all of life’s uncertainties, as adults we know how bad life can turn out, these three strategies will make for a very resilient child. Make these three words you motto for this year: Question, Explore, Reflect.

That’s all from me, Terence, for today’s episode of the Daily Monsoon. Thanks for listening.