On the 18th of January 2025, on Channel News Asia, writer Kelly Ang gives us a nice wholesome family-loving article: “No phones, no scoldings: How we keep daily family dinners sacred”. The lede reads: “It has been proven that there are plenty of benefits in sharing meals regularly with your spouse and children, but what if you simply cannot do it? Here is how mum-of-five Kelly Ang guards this custom in her household.”
Hi, my name is Terence and this is the Daily Monsoon, finding God’s Truth in the News. I picked this article up for the podcast because I so strongly agree with what the writer has to say, and with the Chinese New Year holidays coming up, it is just a natural reminder for everyone of the importance of family dinners.
Kelly writes:
Studies by the likes of Harvard and Stanford universities show that shared meal times have immense benefits for both parents and children.
Enhanced mental and emotional health, improved physical health, stronger relationships, better academic performances – all of these have been attributed to having regular meals together as a family.
Based on Harvard and Stanford’s research and Kelly’s experience, it is possible that many of the problems that we bring to a doctor, counsellor, physiotherapist, psychologist, tuition teacher, or pastor could be solved or alleviated by making the effort to have family dinners.
If true, and there is every reason to believe it is true, think about all the money, time and tears you save by just prioritising family dinners.
You might say, “Ah… you don’t understand how my struggles. I come back from work; the kids come back from tuition, and it is hard to schedule.”
Kelly is not saying it’s easy. It’s a challenge for her family, too. And she has five young kids! One lesson I picked up from reading how she and her husband juggle working late, comforting a hungry toddler, and waiting for the boys to come back from football training is just to do your best.
I get the sense from reading her article that even if the family couldn’t get together from Monday to Friday for one reason or another, it’s still a win come weekend. And I think that’s an attitude we should all have. Celebrate the wins, in this case, being able to eat together as a family on weekends.
It’s not just making time to come together. It’s also what you do at dinnertime.
And for this one, I must admit Kelly’s description of her family table sounds too good to be true.
I quote:
Each family dinner, my children freely confess their uninhibited thoughts and feelings, giving us a glimpse into their lives at school and precious insight into their still-developing personalities and characters.
Her oldest is 12 years old; her youngest is 2 years old. And it’s nice to see how both parents value this time listening and talking with their children.
One great tip she shared is to have no scolding or heavy topics over the dinner table. She wants to keep a positive vibe.
I have experienced it myself. If we have an argument over the dinner table, there is no food on Earth so delicious that it would make me regain my appetite. So big thumbs up from me on this tip. It keeps the dinner table a safe place, knowing that whatever problems the husband and wife have or the children have, we can always put it to one side.
This action sends a signal to the whole family that no matter what challenges we face, this is a family.
I don’t think I would describe my family dinner table as one where “my children freely confess their uninhibited thoughts and feelings”. Maybe my children are not as chatty as Kelly’s?
But I will tell you something. This podcast exists because of a few special family dinner moments. Let me share with you my favourite.
One day, I read in the news that there was an earthquake. The article had this curious picture of a building, a flat where half was upright, and the other half was completely destroyed. I am not talking about two separate structures. It was a one apartment unit where half collapsed, half stayed up. When I read why it was so, I thought it was a good riddle to pose to the family.
So I came home for dinner. I can’t wait to give them this riddle. And I told my wife and kids what I just shared with you. There was an earthquake. There is this building. The left half collapsed, and the right half stayed upright. Why?
My wife and kids threw their guesses at me.
“The design was flawed.”
The design is the same for both sides.
“The collapsed side had bad construction.”
Nope, both sides were built to the same standard.
“The earthquake was more severe on one side.”
That is a pretty freakish earthquake if it only shook one side of the building down. No, the earthquake affected both sides equally hard.
Having exhausted the usual suspects, the guesses and questions start to get creative. Was one side more occupied than the other? Were there dangerous stuff, like bombs, in the collapsed side?
After a while, they gave up. And I told them the answer.
On the collapsed side, someone opened a restaurant in one of the floors. And the fellow, wanting to create more space, removed one of the pillars. And nothing happened. Until the earthquake came.
And here, the engineering problem gives way to a spiritual lesson. Sometimes, we don’t understand why there are building regulations and we find when we break the regulations, nothing happens. So, we are right to remove the pillar. We don’t realise that the building regulations are there for a reason until an earthquake comes.
It’s not just money lost. It’s lives lost. Is it not ridiculous that so many people died because one man wanted to make more room for one more table in his restaurant?
And it’s the same with God’s laws. We may not understand why we are required to do this or not do that, but ultimately, it is for our good. And sometimes, when we are older, we look back and understand why the Bible says, “Don’t let the sun go down in your anger,” which is, in a way, a lesson that Kelly’s family table practise, whether knowingly or not.
Since my family had a good time with my earthquake building riddle, I became more conscious of news articles that were easy talking points over the dinner table. And I thought, since I was looking for news to talk about, I might as well talk about it here in a podcast. So that’s a bit of how this podcast came about.
Who knows, maybe you or your family can stumble onto something interesting, a new hobby, or a new insight just by taking the time to come together. I know it’s a challenge; celebrate the wins! and in your own way, create memories for your own family.
The Chinese especially treasure the New Year’s Eve dinner as it brings family members from far and wide. It’s the same principle but applied to the immediate family and not held once a year, but everyday. Isn’t that a blessing? A daily blessing.
This is the Daily Monsoon, my name is Terence and I hope you can have many blessed family meals in your lifetime. Thanks for listening.